Waking Up to the World--Slowly
Thank God for sleep and long talks with best friends. After sleeping on things for a couple of nights and chats with some good online friends, and a reality check from my best friend, Corey, I'm starting to get some perspective on things.
It seems I'm following the same pattern I always do in relationships: I get all wrapped up in the other person and put ALL my energy into the relationship. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but it is a bad thing that I ignore every other aspect of my life. I've made no friends here. I haven't done any of the things I love to do; I haven't been to any museums, haven't been to a coffee shop, haven't seen any movies. I'm not stimulating myself in any way, much less culturally. I'm in a new environment and haven't bothered to take any of it in.
I'd started seeing this emerge, but it took Corey articulating it for it to become clear.
Relationships in general fascinate me--the way different people react to them and act in them. It's what I write most about. Some people are casual in relationships, some--like me--go all out and lose themselves in them. That point where two lives intersect, that's the point I want to understand. What pulls two people together, especially opposites? It seems lately the guys I've become involved with are NOTHING like me. And that challenges me, which I know is good for me because I need to get out of this comfort zone of mine.
In the end, I hope it works out. I know I'll be fine either way, but it's that time. I'm tired of the go-round. Then again, who isn't? We all deserve a little happiness when we can get it.
Interesting rambling for a Sunday afternoon. But things are becoming clearer to me. I know now what I have to do. I need to get my own shit together, build my life here in San Diego. There's no reason why I can't devote myself to someone and still have my life. I haven't experienced life yet and I'm 27 years old. It's time. It's going to be a challenge, because left on my own, I'd wait on my man hand and foot. But it's time for to me get out there and see what the world has to offer.
I hope everyone's life is moving in a positive direction and that we're all taking what life has to offer.
--Joseph
It seems I'm following the same pattern I always do in relationships: I get all wrapped up in the other person and put ALL my energy into the relationship. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but it is a bad thing that I ignore every other aspect of my life. I've made no friends here. I haven't done any of the things I love to do; I haven't been to any museums, haven't been to a coffee shop, haven't seen any movies. I'm not stimulating myself in any way, much less culturally. I'm in a new environment and haven't bothered to take any of it in.
I'd started seeing this emerge, but it took Corey articulating it for it to become clear.
Relationships in general fascinate me--the way different people react to them and act in them. It's what I write most about. Some people are casual in relationships, some--like me--go all out and lose themselves in them. That point where two lives intersect, that's the point I want to understand. What pulls two people together, especially opposites? It seems lately the guys I've become involved with are NOTHING like me. And that challenges me, which I know is good for me because I need to get out of this comfort zone of mine.
In the end, I hope it works out. I know I'll be fine either way, but it's that time. I'm tired of the go-round. Then again, who isn't? We all deserve a little happiness when we can get it.
Interesting rambling for a Sunday afternoon. But things are becoming clearer to me. I know now what I have to do. I need to get my own shit together, build my life here in San Diego. There's no reason why I can't devote myself to someone and still have my life. I haven't experienced life yet and I'm 27 years old. It's time. It's going to be a challenge, because left on my own, I'd wait on my man hand and foot. But it's time for to me get out there and see what the world has to offer.
I hope everyone's life is moving in a positive direction and that we're all taking what life has to offer.
--Joseph
posted by Joseph at 12:29 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home