Trudging Along...
So I'm sitting at the computers in my complex's office because my laptop is STILL out of commission. Maybe I can get my brother-in-law to fix it...
The job transition is coming along slowly. I really want an easy job, but I'm afraid of giving up my Monday through Friday schedule. But I guess something's gotta give here. Luckily, my present boss has been great and has worked with me and been very understanding. I get to keep my present pay rate until I leave (I'm intending next Friday as my end date). Hopefully by then, I'll have a nice, little mindless job lined up.
The poetry's running out of steam. I got another one out last night and a few to complete, but I can feel that there aren't many left in me. I need to get back to my book! It's gnawing at my brain, like a bunch of little rats trying to get out. Wow, that was a disturbing analogy. Anyhow, it's that time...
Well, I feel like someone's looking over my shoulder here. So I'm signing off for now. Have a good week, all!
--Joseph
The job transition is coming along slowly. I really want an easy job, but I'm afraid of giving up my Monday through Friday schedule. But I guess something's gotta give here. Luckily, my present boss has been great and has worked with me and been very understanding. I get to keep my present pay rate until I leave (I'm intending next Friday as my end date). Hopefully by then, I'll have a nice, little mindless job lined up.
The poetry's running out of steam. I got another one out last night and a few to complete, but I can feel that there aren't many left in me. I need to get back to my book! It's gnawing at my brain, like a bunch of little rats trying to get out. Wow, that was a disturbing analogy. Anyhow, it's that time...
Well, I feel like someone's looking over my shoulder here. So I'm signing off for now. Have a good week, all!
--Joseph
posted by Joseph at 11:12 AM
1 Comments:
This was really disconcerting to read:
“As for J, we're hitting some bumps. I'm realizing how much I have yet to deal with from things that have happened before (and not just with him; that's just the tip of the iceberg). And I can tell J's patience is starting to run low, but at the same time, I can't pretend to be ready for anything that I'm not ready for. I just hope that time, honesty, and prayer will clear things up, however it plays out.”
My emotional red flags shot up!
I thought:
“What. The. Hell. Did. I. Do.”
Then realized,
“Wait. He ain’t talkin’ bout me!”
(smile)
This made me smile:
“I'm realizing now that in the last five months, I've grown more into my own skin. It's been a hell of a process, and it ain't over yet, but I'm getting there. With or without a partner, with or without others' support, I'm getting there. I definitely feel more comfortable with myself…”
I’m happy for you my brotha…
This made me raise my eyebrows:
“I'm not as awkward-looking as I thought”
Awkward-looking? Were you serious!?
“Can someone tell me why I'm still constantly coughing and blowing my nose?”
You weren’t taking Tylenol Flu, were you?
Best. Medicine. Ever.
Trust.
“if I'm gonna cry, then everyone's gonna cry with me, damnit. ;)”
I’m surprised by what touches me.
Probably the FUNNIEST time I ever cried (I have never told anyone this) – was during an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful (Yes. I am for real.) Sheila (evil villainess if you aren’t familiar with the YR/BB family) turned on her one true friend (aka henchman Mike) who loved her and did unspeakable things on her behalf. When he realized that her feelings for him were nonexistent, he got the most pathetic look on his face, and when he spoke (and expressed his sorrow), it was as if he were chanting, magically coercing my tears away from their ducts.
I felt like such a pussy.
But I forgave myself, because I realized something important:
Real men are real with their feelings.
From that point forward, my tears have been more forthcoming. Until I read your touching account of your spirit breaking down your whole family, I hadn’t shed a tear for about two weeks (when I watched Big Eden, and became overwhelmed by this beautiful coming out scene.)
Thanks a lot!
“As much as I claim to dread hitting 30, I think I'm slowly looking forward to it. Hopefully things will even out by then and I can look back on my 20's as "a phase."
Take it from a twenty-six year old who has already come to terms with that reality. I am living my phase. And will milk the opportunity for immaturity for all it’s worth.
Things will get better for you Joseph. You have a strong foundation to stand on.
Yourself.
You. A strong man (whether you recognize it or not), bolstered by the support and love of a warm family. No matter where you are, no matter what you do, no matter what you go thru, you will always have
That grounding.
That caring.
As your guide. Helping you to make it thru. You have to draw upon the spirit of your family…of yourself…in order to be that man you want to be.
[you will make it]
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