Some Realizations
Back at work this Tuesday. With all that's been going on in my relationship, I've come to some realizations that I like to think of as breakthroughs for me. These are things I probably should've come to sooner, but better now than never.
My family has always been my life. My sister, parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles have always surrounded me, and I'm grateful for that. I grew up with huge family parties and my grandparents' house after church on Sundays. I lived in Austin for 26 years with immediate access to any part of my family.
The bad thing about this is that I've become too comfortable. One of the things I've realized is that my family is a vital part of my life--and always will be--but they shouldn't be my life. This is one of the ways I've limited myself. This came about because Marcus and I are concerned about where we'd end up after our time in California (neither of us intend to stay here permanently). Part of me was fixed on returning to Austin. This was my original plan when I decided to move to San Diego with my sister--we'd be here until my brother-in-law's term in the Coast Gurad is over, then head back home. But I've realized that for me to start a life with someone, I may very likely have to give up Austin and the comfort I've known there. I can't follow my family around all my life; then I'll never have a life of my own. I'll be fifty and still scared of leaving the familiarity I've always known. I can't live my life for my family; I have to live it for me.
Another thing I've realized is how wide-open my life is, and how much world is really out there. It took me finally moving out of Austin for me to see that. Who knows where I'll end up? If I do end up single after my stint here in CA, I'll most likely return to Austin, but so much can happen between now and then. There's no telling what will occur and where it'll take me.
All this has come about because I've had to think long and hard about the next couple of years as Marcus and I discuss what path we may be taking. But I finally know that I'm ready for whatever that entails. I'm ready to try something new, to finally start a life of my own. 27's as good a place to start as any.
--Joseph
My family has always been my life. My sister, parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles have always surrounded me, and I'm grateful for that. I grew up with huge family parties and my grandparents' house after church on Sundays. I lived in Austin for 26 years with immediate access to any part of my family.
The bad thing about this is that I've become too comfortable. One of the things I've realized is that my family is a vital part of my life--and always will be--but they shouldn't be my life. This is one of the ways I've limited myself. This came about because Marcus and I are concerned about where we'd end up after our time in California (neither of us intend to stay here permanently). Part of me was fixed on returning to Austin. This was my original plan when I decided to move to San Diego with my sister--we'd be here until my brother-in-law's term in the Coast Gurad is over, then head back home. But I've realized that for me to start a life with someone, I may very likely have to give up Austin and the comfort I've known there. I can't follow my family around all my life; then I'll never have a life of my own. I'll be fifty and still scared of leaving the familiarity I've always known. I can't live my life for my family; I have to live it for me.
Another thing I've realized is how wide-open my life is, and how much world is really out there. It took me finally moving out of Austin for me to see that. Who knows where I'll end up? If I do end up single after my stint here in CA, I'll most likely return to Austin, but so much can happen between now and then. There's no telling what will occur and where it'll take me.
All this has come about because I've had to think long and hard about the next couple of years as Marcus and I discuss what path we may be taking. But I finally know that I'm ready for whatever that entails. I'm ready to try something new, to finally start a life of my own. 27's as good a place to start as any.
--Joseph
posted by Joseph at 10:37 AM
1 Comments:
I know how you feel. My family has always been there for me, but I think I'm ready to start a new career somewhere else. 30 isn't too late, I hope. :)
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