My first full day in Austin. It's wonderful just not being in the office, not wearing a damn shirt and tie. Today's the lazy day of my vacation. Didn't get in the shower till about 2. Only reason I left the house was to go to the grocery store. Then I came home and watched Sex and the City lying in bed. Now,
this is the life...
Meanwhile, I've been thinking about last night's chat. I like to think that, after that, I can release him (and myself) and start moving toward wherever I'm supposed to be. Then again, I know myself and how stubbornly I can hold on to things that are long gone. But, it's a step in the right direction. I needed to be honest and vent my feelings. It's like peeling off a band-aid that's gotten stuck cuz I've been wearing it for so long. I had to do it. It hurt, but the skin needs to breathe.
Overall, I'm just blessed to be home again. Whenever I come back, it's like I never left. This trip home is different, though, from the last one. Last time, it almost felt like California hadn't even happened; I shook it all off as soon as I touched down in Austin. Doesn't feel that way now. I carried it back with me. I think it's starting to seep under my skin and I'll never be able to leave it all behind. And I'm OK with that now. It's an experience, and that's what I left Texas for in the first place. Granted, I'd much rather it be a different experience, but it is what it is. Just a matter of dealing with it honestly and getting on with life.
In other news, I seem to have made another friend. As if meeting someone new weren't nerve wracking enough, this one is under 25 (I had just made a new under-25 rule for myself: NONE UNDER 25!) and lives in LA (I haven't been impressed with the LA area or anything that comes from it). But everyone deserves a chance, right? *big sigh* We shall see...
Thank God for home, familiarity, lifelong friends, and family. Lord knows I wouldn't make it through without. Here's hoping y'all find comfort wherever you're at. Until next time...
--Joseph
